So much on my mind..

What the hell am I doing? Because I'm not entirely sure.

School is hitting me really hard this semester. I try to act like it isn't that bad..but I'm not doing that well. I do all of the work and study my ass off...but I can still do more. And I obviously need to start doing more or I'll have C's this semester. And that just won't do for me. It's just going to be even more hard because I'm already stressed out with the work I have now:/ bahhhh

I don't know if I can be a chem major. It's the only thing I've ever really loved and been really happy to do. I can't do math/history/english/art/music/pretty much anything else. But the work is so hard..and I don't really have the confidence in myself to be able to do it. I guess I just need to work on that.

I really just need someone to talk to. I know I can talk to my friends here...but I can't talk about everything I need to talk about with everyone. The little and big things. I need someone to pillow talk with. I can't really just call Sara from home and start talking about how much the caf food sucks, or how much chem is kicking my ass. She's not here and wouldn't totally understand. Idk. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this one.


This damn weight thing is really bothering me. If you don't know already, I went to the doctor the other day with a foot sprain. On the sheet given to me before I left, it said.....
You Have Been Diagnosed With:
foot sprain
obesity

Um, seriously? I know I'm not a twig...but I don't think I'm obese. I was actually kind of offended that they put that on there. There's nothing I can do about it, so it's pretty much just whatever, but I mean, seriously? lol I actually thought it was somewhat amusing.

Speaking of the obese thing, a little bit ago, I saw a commercial for a weight loss work out thingy. And I was just sitting there thinking "I'm happy enough with my body to not need to pay to change it." I LOVE my body. Yeah, having a big ass gets in the way. And having big boobs makes buying new shirts annoying sometimes. But I love the way I look. I mean, I would like to lose a few pounds, mostly for health issues, but c'mon. I look good! lol I like my figure! I'm not going to spend hundreds of dollars to try to lose weight just because someone thinks I'm fat or don't look right! That's just absurd to me...I actually pity those girls who don't feel that way. Yeah, I have my insecurities that pop up here and there, but I like who I am and I'm comfy in my own skin. And if you have a problem with it, well, then you can suck it.


And that is all.
Goodnight.
Love, Ash