Everything is changing

Yeah i know. Great title right? Changes happen, I'm aware.

But everything's changing. Faster than I thought it would. Home doesn't even feel like home anymore. My best friend and I never talk. We've hung out once since I've been home. I don't even feel close to my friends here anymore. I hung out with Alex yesterday and it was so weird. It was like nothing's changed, but everything has. There's no special feelings there anymore. We just walked around Blockbuster for 30 minutes (okay, the two most indecisive people in the world trying to pick a movie and taking foreverrrrrr..that hasn't changed). Then went to his house and watched it. And then I went home. It sounds simple, but it's so much different than a year ago! Those of you who read this don't even understand. It's a change, but a necessary one. We're both better off this way. He's still one of my best friends, but things will never be the same. They haven't been after the Cassie-incident. But whatever. We both moved on, and I want to believe that the guy I've fallen for over the last couple of months is different. I know he is. I just wish he would call me. Alex may be a sore subject, but he's still my friend and he'll always be there for me no matter what. I guess that part hasn't changed.


Another change: my house. My parents hate this house, but they can't move due to crappy housing market. So instead, they're changing it. Which is almost as bad. First, they bought a new microwave. Not just any microwave. But one that goes over the stove. Like, they moved it to the other side of the kitchen. It may not seem like a lot, but it really freaked me out. Then they redid their bedroom. FINALLY painted it (after 10 years)and redid their bathroom. That's kinda weird for me, but I rarely go to that end of our house, so it's really not that big of a deal.

The real kicker is the kitchen. They started construction the day after I got home from summer school. It was really great waking up at 8am to power tools, let me tell ya. Not really. Anyway, it's pretty close to being done now. New cabinets, colors, floors, light fixtures, fridge. Everything. And I mean, literally, everything. Except like, the other appliances. It's so different and it doesn't even feel like my kitchen anymore. The hardwood floor isn't in yet, and the countertops don't come for 2 more weeks. Don't get me wrong, it's going to look pretty freakin sweet when it's all done. It's just different. New. After 10 years of living in this house, my parents are changing everything! When they're done with the kitchen, they're moving onto the carpeting in the rest of the house! Then tearing down the pannelling in the basement and putting up drywall and insulation and stuff. UGH. It's not even my home anymore.


Jefferson City/Holts Summit, MO is not my home anymore. My friends and I have nothing in common. I'm the only one, which the exception of Brandon who is in SC for the Marines, who went farther away than 30 miles to go to school. I'm the outlier (damn you biostat). This place isn't for me anymore. I need to go back to school. But even then, everything will be different. Kim and I will be living together in a house (yay!). Cory will probably be a-wall all semester again. David will still be around (I hope). God only knows what will happen with me and Paul.


I don't know what next year has in store for me. With relationships, APO, school. I don't know what the hell is going to happen. But I'm ready for it to be here so I can find out.