What is this thing we call family?

Is it the thing we're sometimes unfortunately born into? Or the people who love us? I think it's kind of a mixture of both.


There are a lot of people in my life who I consider "family". My parents got divorced when I was 7 and both remarried when I was 9. That gives me 4 "families". But although all of those people are now technically my "family", I don't consider them actually family.

I've always been relatively close to my mom's side of the family. They're all hypocrites and bitches, but I grew up with them and have spent more time with them than any other side. Though I really feel like they're family, it's more like a "Christmas family". I only see and talk to them on Christmas. And there's always a fight because my Aunt Sue feels like my mother is a horrible person for breaking up the family and now my sister Jackie and I are these terrible charity cases. And she treats my mom like shit, but my mom won't say anything because she has too much pride. (It's kind of a vicious cycle.) But I'm not close to anyone in this group of people at all. I get a birthday card every year, but that's about it. Communication pretty much stops there.

My dad's side of the family, on the other hand, is much smaller and much more civil. We usually meet for Thanksgiving (or Christmas, depending on which parent has us for what holiday). Things go well, my dad's only sister and her husband and 2 children are super sweet. I'm not as close to them as my mom's side, so I feel weird talking to them if my dad isn't around. But we do chat occasionally throughout the year.

My stepmom's family = Lisa's parents had 10 kids. Each kid was married and has at least 2-3 children. Some of them have children. I get lost in the mix. I don't even know everyone's name. Most of them don't know me. I don't really consider that much of a family.

Then there's my stepdad's family. He has a brother and a sister, both married with children. My transition into becoming part of this family was very rocky. My grandma kind of rejected us because we weren't her own. And my Aunt Leesa rejected my mother because she was afraid she would hurt her brother. However, after many years and fights, this group of people love me more than the woman who's been married to my father for the last 10 years. My Uncle David would do anything for me. He's threatened to beat the shit out of any guy I've ever dated if they hurt me. Ever. And he's made this threat many times...he's in Iraq right now, so no need to shake in your boots. Til he comes home. Aunt Leesa is such a great woman. She loves me so much and actually treats me like I'm a member of her family. Grandma finally learned to love Jackie and I. I'd never cried so much at a funeral as I did at hers. I'm tearing up just writing about it. She was all of 5 feet tall and she could scare her full grown military sons. And the best part was that she loved me. My grandpa loves me. Everytime he sees me he says "Keep your powder dry while you're up at school, missy!" Oh grandpa... Anyway. I was not born into this family, but they love me like I'm their own. My stepdad more than anyone. I'm his baby. I think he would die if anything happened to me. I love him so much too.


I know families aren't perfect. And mine is far from it. There have been so many fights and threats, and so many tears. But I know who loves me. And those people are my family. And those are the people who I want to surround myself with.